Steve Bolin: “Attention, Dark Myth staff members. You’re probably wondering why I’ve called you all down here to the Myth Master’s dungeon.
Marileta Hunsford: “Actually we were wondering why you strapped each of us onto one of his torture devices. This Iron Maiden is quite uncomfortable.”
SB: “Good point Marileta; well, as you all know, our beloved Myth Master passed away last issue during an interview with John Miller.”
Jerri Yager: “What was your first clue that he died? The fact that his charred carcass is still fused to the electric chair?” *Aaack!*
(No one seems to notice that Jerry Yager – a.k.a. Celeste DeLuna – whose alter ego is always overdressed, catches a rhinestone encrusted stiletto heel in the hem of her red velvet gown at the head of the dungeon steps, then tumbles head over heels to the bottom of the stairs and snaps her neck.)
John Miller: (Blissfully unaware that he is stepping over Celeste’s body moments before the dungeon’s giant mutant rats drag her away.) “Actually, I told Steve that Kevin passed. In fact, I’d still be down here if it weren’t for the fact that the rats ate through the ropes binding me.”
Sarah Wilson Basore: “I’m surprised that you agreed to come back down to the dungeon, John.”
JM: “Well I wasn’t going to at first, but I heard there was a Myth-Mart sale going on.”
MH: “That was bait to lure us down here, John.”
SB: “I’m afraid Marileta is right. Besides, the prices are so low already, who needs a sale?”
SWB: “Hmm… This whole thing feels like a shameless promotion of some kind.”
SB: “Listen up staff members. We are here at the request of Kevin ‘Myth Master’ Adams himself. According to his last will and testament, we are all supposed to pick an instrument of torture at random and strap ourselves in. It was his wish that we all pay tribute to him in this manner.”
JM: “Well, I’d say we’re all locked in good and tight. Now how do we get out?”
SB: “Nuts. I didn’t think ahead that far.”
Myth Master: You never do …chuuuummmmppp….
JM: Uh-oh, I think we have more pressing concerns at the moment. Look, the Myth Master’s corpse is moving.”
SWB: “His ghost is rising out of his dead body. What should we do?”
SB: “…uhh… I suppose I could interview him.”
JM: “Maybe he’ll let us go afterwards.”
SB: Tell us, oh Mighty Myth Master, what’s it like on the other side?
MM: What other side? I was just faking to lure you rubes down here!!!
SB: But we just saw a ghostly vapor above your body!
MM: Uh…oh. Excuse me then; I had beans for supper last night. Nevertheless, that funky smell is a prelude to your doom!
SB: When did you first begin writing?
MM: High School, what a ghastly place for budding writers…
SB: Tell our readers what genre interests you the most.
MM: Hmm… good question, but it won’t prolong any of your deaths!!
(*whisper to readers* It was science fiction.)
MM: My dear, dear Marileta! I am so glad you are enjoying the Iron Maiden but, as you will soon find, I have upgraded it with a new feature! There are several little ‘inlet holes’ and that is where I will pump in small amounts of sulfuric acid over the course of this interview, which means you are the first to suffer, but the last to actually die. What lovely painful screams you will make as your flesh melts from your body!
SB: What authors inspire you?
MM: My cousin – Steve Bolin – really inspired me to come forth and really start writing and creating for this site, but I suppose if I had to choose. It would be ‘The Unknown artists/writers’ that inspire me most for it is they that convey true passion and performance without the promise of a single cent.
SB: What terrifies you more than anything?
MM: The loss of family foremost, and also losing my temper/mind.
SB: Could you write a story about it?
MM: Oh yes.
SB: How do you decide when an idea is worth writing about?
MM: When it either scares the hell out of me or when it keeps me up all night and won’t go away to till I write it down. Of course I always like to run the ideas by my wife and she fakes interest.
MM: Don’t think I’ve forgotten you, my dear good friend John Miller, you were worthy to duel me in the electric chairs so I will spare you a long quick death. Notice how you are strapped to what looks like a stretch rack? Well take a closer look. You are strapped to the world’s largest pair of steel jaws. All they need is the motivation to close and snap shut like a giant book and end your pitiful life. Here is the rope that holds them shut, so lovingly placed over a burning candle. You’ve got about 2 minutes. Goodbye.
SB: Of all the interviews you’ve conducted, which one was the most fun?
MM: I enjoyed Paco A. the most – author of Discipline – he was unique and interesting.
SB: You write a lot of poetry which touches on aspects of fatherhood. What is the most significant thing that your young daughter has taught you?
MM: To enjoy life, enjoy every moment and to realize that I have one purpose in life and that is to help her grow to be a good person.
SB: You have two books out now, Black Rising and the recently published Midnight Offerings. Briefly tell us about your experience with self publishing. Was it worth it? Is it something you’d recommend to up-and-coming authors?
MM: Self-Publishing has many, many pros and cons. It can be as cheap or as costly as you can imagine. My biggest piece of advice is to educate yourself on all aspects as much as possible. A great place to start is Lulu.com.
SB: Is there a “dark side” to Kevin Adams?
MM: Yes and no. First off, I was a very successful Myth Master. Second, I am someone who enjoys looking at everything in a different or darker way through story telling. Yet, in truth I am actually a good church going person.
SB: How important is your spirituality to you?
MM: Very. I used it as inspiration for two stories and I will never forget how I have been set free by God.
SB: Many of your stories explore the realms of horror or dark fantasy. How do you respond to critics who say tales written in that genre are ungodly or even evil?
MM: Do not judge the author by his content. Judge him on his passion. If you take time to analyze yourself or others and not listen to anyone but your heart and true friends, then you will be spending too much time worrying about how to make everyone happy. Write for ‘your’ pleasure and ‘your’ enjoyment. Take both positive and negative advice in moderation.
MM: Well if it isn’t another victim. Your name is Sarah yes? Well, I have cooked up a special something for you my dear. You are currently trapped inside my most favorite creation. An industrial strength, extra-large blender.
MM: I like my smoothies extra chunky baby. All one need do is press this button. *press*
SB: If you could go back in time and change just one thing, what would it be?
MM: I thought about this in the past, but my current answer is: NOTHING. God has designed my life with purpose and changing that would change all that I am. Although I had a dream once… about a different path in life…
SB: Suppose you didn’t work as a Service Consultant, what is the one thing you’d really like to be doing instead?
MM: Martial Arts Instructor. So I suppose this is the one thing I would be willing to change. As long as I could support my family, this would be a dream come true.
SB: What advice would you give to aspiring writers concerning such things as rejection, criticism and improving their craft?
MM: The more you write the better you get. Never loose sight of the passion inside, never let a ‘no’ or rejection get you down.
SB: Any final words for our readers?
MM: Imagination is the exploration of the undiscovered mind.
MM: I seem to run out of worthy victims. All I’m left with is you Steve. Well, if I didn’t kill you I would be disappointing thousands of readers. We can’t have that.
You sit strapped to the world’s most powerful wood chipper, but I am only going to grind you up to your thighs at first and then feed your fleshy pulp to my pet piranhas as you watch. Although I doubt they’ll eat it. They hate losers too.
As for those of you that think they may dare to enter here again. I cannot allow that! There is an dark ritual I will perform that will open a gaping portal. It will suck this entire castle into a black abyss from which no one can return. Once these fine ‘volunteers’ die, I will use their souls to power the chant!
As for me?
I will return to the alternate dimension that borders this universe and continue with my journey through the timeless depths of eternity. You will not see me again.
Fare thee well,
Kevin ‘Myth Master’ Adams
Master Torturer / Interviewer for the The World of Myth